Last night I called Death.
I told her to come take me.
She said, go back to the world.
I started crying.
I told her I’ll wait here in the dark for her to come.
But I don’t want to go back to the world.
There’s nothing I want from there.
She told me to go look for a nice companion.
I said, I have many beautiful friends, but I needed to be taken back home.
Death asked me why.
I said I am tired. I just want to go back home.
But she said she doesn’t understand me.
She said I was so young. And that she has seen my future. She said it is going to be glorious. I am going to conquer much.
I continued to cry. No more silently. I told her I don’t want anything from this world. I just want to be taken home.
She asked me why I was so upset with Life. It has been good with me. And was going to be even better in the future.
She told me people she has to take away, they have a life worse than mine, but they still resist her.
So she told me to hang in there. She said, live your life the way you want to. Stop living it for others if its making you weak.
I said, I am beginning to think about myself and hence I ask for death.
And I fell on my knees now. Still crying, begging her to take me with herself.
She said, why are you so weak? Stand up, stay strong. This world is a glorious place. Live your life with vigour.
I told her I was finally being strong to have called her to take me away. This world is vain, Death. Nothing lasts over here. Blessings here are curses of heaven in disguise. To live was not difficult, to let go was. Take me with you. I want to go back home.
Even Death was getting impatient with me. She was turning her back on me. She said, sleep for a while,poor soul. I’ll come back for you when the time is right.
I called out again, my voice breaking into howls now. I don’t want to sleep this over. I don’t want to wake up feeling alright again. I don’t want you to come when I least expect you to. I feel old and tired already Death, of waiting and hurting. Death, take me. Take me away. No reason is enough to live away from home.
But even Death walked away. And I closed my eyes.
I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow. And if I do, I don’t know whether I will still call out for Death. But tonight, I pray Death will come back while I’m sleeping, and there won’t be another morning of the same world I open my eyes to.


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